Morning Psychology

What goes through a person's brain when the alarm goes off at 4:30am is quite remarkable.  Actually, it's pretty annoying.

~You've heard it all before so you can leave now if you don't want to be a part of my personal vent (beat up) session with myself.~

You've had fair warning.

I followed *most of the tips to help the process of getting up for an early workout today.  However, I had to push my alarm back FURTHER.  Hubby is leaving town so I had to be back before he headed out for an early flight.  Plus, I had a REALLY long swim workout in store which required more than 45 min to an hour.  Plus...did I mention SWIM?  Ugh.  The thought of getting in the cold pool while my body is in a warm, soft bed is enough to end this post because you'd know what I'm talking about.
I even had my new swim gear ready to go.  That was extra motivation right there!  Right?  I even text with my virtual buddy to make sure she was up for her swim.  And then my brain started doing this nonsense...this nonsense about "why are you doing this?" "you are not cut out for this" "this is like chasing rabbits" "why bother"  I can go on but you get the gist.

On the heels of being so super inspired and motivated by the Boston Marathoners yesterday, I was ready to find out what my friend's "40th" marathon was going to be so that I can train and do the same one.  Wherever in the world it would be.  What the heck...I was inspired!!

And then this morning I want to throw in the towel because I just can't get up?  Ugh!

Boo, me! :(

My friend did swim.  I am so happy that she got out there and did it despite her obstacles.  And the best part, she came back and gave me a pep talk.  Told me all the things I really needed to hear (although I didn't believe her right then).  I got a little teary eyed but brushed it aside because I had bottles to pack, clothes for two to pick out, a kid to drop off and breakfast to make for a STAAR test taking middle schooler.  Mama ain't got time for that! Haha.

By the time the kids all made it to their separate destinations, I had already thought about what I needed to do.  I felt better already and honestly was kinda pissed at me for being so hard on myself. It didn't occur to me that maybe, just maybe, I NEEDED sleep?  Last I checked my sleep patterns on my Misfit Shine device, I am getting 3-4 hours of restful sleep.  I am particularly worn out when I back a night workout with an early morning one (Sunday night/Monday morning) so good grief, Val...give yourself a break!

I decided that this open ended, pseudo, base building training program I'm on is quickly approaching the proverbial fork in the road.  I'm putting in a decent amount of work and time into my workouts.  I don't feel particularly overwhelmed however at times, it can be taxing and yet, I am STILL not getting in as much as I would need for a REAL training program.

So, I'm giving myself until the end of May to the pull the trigger on signing up for a 70.3.  I'm looking at two options...November in Austin or Galveston next April.  I think having a defined program with a start and finish will give me the structure (and satisfaction) that I am currently lacking.

This is me about judging me.  I'm my worst critic.

I do feel that my swim has improved dramatically since I started this thing a couple of months ago and I see improvement in my run times and my bike cadence has increased turnover as well.  But going on like this indefinitely brings concerns of burnout. Which then leads to quitting altogether.  Ugh.  I can't.

Because if I am not training for "something"  would I normally workout out 7 times a week? Um, no. I'd probably be content with 3-5 a week and have no guilt if I skipped a day and certainly not feel like making anything up would be necessary.  I'd gladly take the extra time to work on my house and a gazillion other projects I have my sights set on.

It's afternoon now and I'm feeling pretty darn good. The funk has been eradicated and considering I am a night owl, it's all upside from here.  Ha!

Now, how to make up the swim I missed?!

Hope your Tuesday is less conflicted than mine has been and that you make it to the other side too! If you're still here, thanks for sticking around.  As motivating and positive as I normally am, I have my down days too.  This space has me committed to keepin' it real.

Valerie

Oh, that 40th Marathon my friend is running is in LESS than a month...in Colorado.  Um...yea.  We're gonna go ahead and scrap that idea.  I have already asked her when #42 (or 45) will be.  Maybe I'll join her for one of those.  :)

Update:  Late afternoon...worked through my lunch run (and meal) but holding out that I can get something in between kiddo pickup or at home later (not my fave).  Still feeling great (in case you were concerned...haha) and weather looks amazing...hoping I can lace up for a quick run!